Of Strangers and Subways

I don’t know what it was that drew my eye to the stranger in the subway. Maybe it was because he was the only other person at the late hour, or the look on his face, as if he had lost something. Or maybe it was the fact that he was literally on fire. In all honesty, it was probably the last one. Despite this possibly life threatening situation, he made no attempt to put himself out, or even acknowledge his predicament, just glancing about the car in confusion.

I watched with mild interest from where I sat curled in a subway seat. The man was more interesting than the game I had been playing on my phone. I should probably help put him out, but that would require getting up and talking. Almost as if sensing my gaze, the man turned around and made eye contact with me.

“Where am I?” he demanded as flames crept further up his trench coat and black smoke curled upward.

I stared in confusion for a few seconds before responding. “Uh… the New York subway?”

“On earth then. I must find a way to return. How far from here is the nearest entrance to heaven?”

I stared at him, trying to figure out what was up with this guy. As I thought about it, I couldn’t remember when he got on. There hadn’t been anyone on when I got on and no one had gotten on since, so how did he get here? That, coupled with how he didn’t know where he was, the fact that he was on fire, and his intent to get to heaven, left me questioning what this guy was. So instead of telling him that there wasn’t an entrance to heaven nearby, or that if he really wanted to get to heaven he’d just have to stand there a bit longer, I simply said “Dude, how high are you?”

The man’s face shifted from it’s confused look to a scowl. “I don’t think you understand my situation at all. I’m not high at all. In fact, I’m very, very low. Much lower than this and I’d be in hell,” he responded crossly, the flames now licking at his sleeves.

“Who are you?”

“I am Praesi DeCaelo and I must find an entrance to heaven and return there immediately. It is of the utmost importance.” he seemed almost proud of what he was saying. Maybe he thought that whatever reason he had to get to heaven was super important or it had somehow gotten into his head that the name DeCaelo had meaning in the world. Although, I had certainly never heard of it.

But at this point, it didn’t matter to me anymore. I was done dealing with this DeCaelo person, his bothersome nature far outweighing what little entertainment he brought. I glanced at the small LED screen detailing the next stop. The sooner I got off the subway, the less time I would have to spend dealing with the strange man and his burning clothes. I shifted back to playing on my phone, effectively ignoring him.

He stood there for a few minutes as if waiting for me to respond before he began pacing the length of the car, staring at just about everything. At times, his flames seemed to get a bit too close to my seat for comfort. Miraculously, nothing in the car was burning yet even though the flames had almost entirely consumed his coat and were curling around his face. At this point, I figured if he hadn’t noticed them yet, it wa his own fault, natural selection and what not.

If I thought the night couldn’t get any weirder, I would have been sadly mistaken. At the next stop, when the doors slid open with their annoying beeping, a man in a black and red suit stepped in and stood in the middle of the car. DeCaelo turned almost instantly to make eye contact with the newcomer from one end of the car.

The doors slid closed and the car began to move again, but neither moved, just continued to glare at each other. After a few minutes of awkward silence as their intense staring contest continued, the newcomer finally spoke, voicing the words I had been avoiding. “You do know you’re on fire, Praesi DeCaelo?”